N o w - H o l l y w o o d . b l o g s p o t .c o m

Paris Hilton has serious issues.

Based on the photo below, however, a lack of talent and a penchant for promiscuity may be the least of them.

Among the problems plaguing Paris in this picture are:

• An elderly, wrinked left hand;
• A plastic face that makes Nicole Kidman's look malleable;
• A dazed look of confusion and shock, as if Hilton only now has realized that former BFF Kim Kardashian is 10 times more popular than she'll ever be.

What do you consider to be Paris' most pressing issues?

• Paris Hilton has-had Very Little Sex

• Paris Hilton Checks out Summerfieldayze Festival

• Paris Hilton & Brittany Flickinger are Snow Bunnies

• Paris Hilton & Brittany Flickinger Shop Hard

• Dude Who Ransacked Paris Hilton Caught on Tape